Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
