He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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