so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
