I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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