ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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