Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
