I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
