Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
