How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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