The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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