the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
