You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
