Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
