Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
