I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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