Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
