He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
