just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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