Umm I'm too high to move.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
