I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Randomize
