He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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