Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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