Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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