You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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