I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize