I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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