I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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