He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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