went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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