if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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