I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
