Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize