Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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