Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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