oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
