I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize