Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
