Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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