No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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