i just wanna soil my oats bro
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
