Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
