Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
