Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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