I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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