belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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