i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
