Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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