babies were throwing up all over the place
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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