the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door