We named our party play list daddy issues
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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