it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
