farters have to be the big spoon...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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