her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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