Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
