Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
