So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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