nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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