When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need to calm my uterus...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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