I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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