We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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