there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
